wonder-full

A friend of mine was telling us over the weekend about some younger friends of his (in their early 20s) who were pregnant. He couldn't understand why they wanted to have kids so young, since it means so much about your lifestyle changes. I think his feeling was, your 20s are for playing and your 30s are for settling down and starting a family.

To be honest, for the first two or three weeks after we had V, I missed the freedom of being able to go out with friends on the spur of the moment, grabbing drinks or dinner whenever I wanted to, sleeping in on the weekends. But after a while, that feeling faded and was replaced with a real contentment and joy in this new phase of life. It's kind of amazing how, eleven weeks later, this little being feels like a seamless addition to our lives. I'm certainly not at the point where I can't remember what life was like without her, but I am at the point where I can't imagine life without her.

New York is different from most other parts of the country in that for various reasons, women wait until later in life to start a family. I couldn't find a statistic on the average age of first-time mothers in NYC, but based on the sample set of our peers, at 31 we are among the first of our friends to have kids (I only know two other couples with children). And while I don't regret at all waiting to have a baby at 31, I realized that my answer to my friend's question is that regardless of the fears you might have about parenthood, or about how things will change, you choose to do it because you have an inkling that it will be wonderful. I didn't realize how wonderful until I had V, I just knew that the time felt right, and I was finally ready. I think that time is different for everyone - 25, 31, 40, but it really is a wonder-filled time, and I wouldn't trade it for my old freedom and independence, or even for a solid 8 hours of sleep.